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Naughty Bits is a sizzling sex advice column written by Sexpert Naughty Natalie. If you’ve got a problem that’s driving you crazy send it to her at naughtynat@aetoday.com
Dear Naughty Natalie,
I am a 22 year old man who is simply crazy about older women. I don’t know what it is about them, but for years now I have been drawn to them. I have had some success in seducing older women and love to pleasure them. I am crazy about oral sex and they love that and appreciate that I can never get enough of going down on them. My problem is, they never seem to take me very seriously. They just treat me like a toy, to be discarded when I have finished giving them multiple orgasms. I really want to have a relationship with one of these women in their forties. How should I go about it?
M.I.L.F. Lover
Dear M.I.L.F Lover,
Hmm, I don’t think you have all that much to complain about. You seem to be able to attract older women, and that is the main thing, you just can’t seem to make them want to stick around.
Here’s a few things you can try. Now, you say you know your way around her body, and maybe you do. But do you know her way around her brain? A woman really wants to be seduced through having a relaxed glass of wine and a talk, before getting down to business. She really does want to feel that you are totally crazy about her and her personality before you get into her drawers. Don’t worry if you don’t have much in common. Just ask her what she is interested in, what kinds of movies she likes, or what kinds of hobbies she has. Just be a good listener and look interested. You’ll be surprised how much just listening to her will make her like you all the more.
Don’t keep on going on about how old she is. It doesn’t matter how confident she appears, she doesn’t want to be constantly reminded about the age gap. Don’t make huge gaffs like saying, “Even though I wasn’t born when you were a teen, it’s weird the way we get on so well, isn’t it?” Also, don’t ask stuff like, “Did you still have black and white TVs when you were a kid?”
Don’t embarrass yourself by trying to act all sophisticated. You are probably thinking you have little to offer her except for sex, when in fact a lot of women love the younger man’s open-mindedness. Yes, that can translate into an extremely hot and kinky time in the bedroom, but it is also crazy mad fun that the older woman is looking for. She will be especially turned on if you are spontaneous, turning up at her door for a date and instead of taking her somewhere predictable like a restaurant or club, maybe take her to a house party one of your friends is having. She will love doing something out of the ordinary and will probably love hanging out with a younger crowd too.
Good luck!
Love,
Naughty Natalie
(Hustler)
Director: Will Ryder
Starring: Hillary Scott, Alana Evans, Aurora Snow, Leah Luv, Lynn LeMay, Jasmine Byrne, Veronique Vega, Paulina James, Ron Jeremy
Penis Rating: 2.5
I had high hopes for Not the Bradys XXX. AVN Starlet of the Year Hillary Scott took the lead role. Veterans like Veronique Vega, Alana Evans and Aurora Snow graced the stage. Even Ron Jeremy made an appearance in this spoof of every kid’s favorite television show. Unfortunately, director Will Ryder’s effort simply didn’t measure up. In all fairness, he took the difficult task of parodying an American institution – one that has had everyone whispering and joking about the taboo for decades. Ryder didn’t execute his vision fully enough, and the outcome is a weak parody that doesn’t satisfy our curiosity, lust or collective sense of humor.
Let’s be honest. Ever since my generation reached puberty, the Bradys have been the subject of quasi-
incestuous speculation. Did Marcia fuck Greg? Did Marcia fuck Peter? Did Greg fuck Peter? This is what we have always wanted to know. Will Ryder played with these themes a bit, but the final step-sibling sex scene with Hillary Scott ends with the copout that it was a dream.
Well, so much for that fantasy …
Even the sex was subpar, which is surprising for the Hillary Scott/Will Ryder combination. Especially in Britney Rears 3, it was clear that this duo was made to work together. That chemistry didn’t come through in Not the Bradys XXX. Hillary Scott – the anal queen – didn’t even take it up the ass. I was shocked. I was also surprised that James Deen was not used effectively. Despite his claim that he is not an actor, his performances prove otherwise.
- Tom J
(Pink Visual)
Starring: Hillary Scott, Nautica Thorn, Jeanine, Charlie, Sasha Grey
Penis Rating: 4.5
What were they like before they were stars? Take a look at the latest from Pink Visual to find out. The studio famous for making amateur porn professional has engaged some of the hottest girls on the market in a style that will show you what it was like to fuck an accomplished starlet on camera for the first time. Pink Visual could not have put together a better cast for this thrilling stroll through lost sexual innocence.
Sasha Grey is well on her way to being among the hottest in the business. With a natural dirty girl look and small chest, she is a study in contrasts – seemingly innocent but delightfully sinful. Nautica Thorn brings the Asian persuasion back to the forefront of the porn business, and Jeanine shows that she is a natural. Of course, Hillary Scott steals the show. Last year’s AVN Starlet of the Year turns in a hot performance, and yes, her tight little asshole gets obliterated.
- Tom J
(Black Mirror)Director: Joe Gallant
Starring: Houston Bernard, Danny, Mikie Likesit, Ivan K., Lapis, Greg Jackson, Ivan Grey, Mr. Joe
The PunkSpunk Series, Episode One: Fan Base, the first foray of Black Mirror Productions into gay porn, defies classification into a specific genre. A mix of bears, twinks, and others turns parts of New York’s East Village into a maelstrom of sex, music and the city’s gritty façade. Mikie Likesit, Lapis and Ivan K. turn in impressive performances, and Houston Bernard clearly enjoys a spot on stage. Fan Base bears the salient signature of director Joe Gallant with a noticeable and casual storyline, cool external shots (look for the owl) and a plethora of penetration close-ups – all framed within the town which itself becomes a personality in so many of Gallant’s films.
Shot entirely in the East Village, this quasi-alt film offers a feeling of realism with normal-looking guys who are not over-shaved, have just enough piercings and ink to look edgy and appear at home in the clubs and bars of one of the city’s funkier neighborhoods. Add to the mix some great music from an Emmy Award-winner (Gallant snagged one for arranging the score to Guiding Light), and the result is a total experience that blends hot gay porn with the aggressive rhythms of the city.
Every scene in Fan Base offers a unique perspective on the sex performed, with indie music between scenes and dialogue that reveals the personalities of the performers. Instead of just banging each other, Ivan K., Danny, Mr. Joe and the rest of the cast come across as completely human and utterly entertaining, moving comfortably from one venue to the next. The subtle personal interaction that occurs is natural, exhibiting a level of comfort and familiarity that mass-produced porn simply fails to deliver.
The cast of Fan Base delivers a hard-hitting performance with toys, group sex scenes, and anal fingering. Of course, they serve as interludes between copious amounts of oral and anal, ending with thick cumshots enhanced by skillful camera work. The most interesting scene of the film involved the pickup of local musician Houston Bernard on a street corner. A series of deep kisses in the park preceded a trip to a dark Village dive where Bernard performs intensely, winding up under the lights on stage – playing before empty tables. The three performers offer three cumshots – always enough to go around.
A classic bear/twink combination in a kiddy pool follows Bernard’s ad hoc show. The younger star showed a docile side, though not sacrificing a touch of attitude. His older, hairier partner kept a quiet command of the action. The older/younger pairing works well, as the more senior gentleman carefully and silently directs his protégé through a mutually satisfying experience. Particularly striking is the difference in complexion between the two actors, making the performance more enticing and exotic, and the twink’s army hat and dog tags were a nice touch. The fluid scene did not detract from the action, in which four fingers entered a single asshole – all at the same time.
What makes Fan Base unique? Gay or straight, the Valley is cranking out product as quickly as possible, sacrificing dialogue, scenery and score in favor of commodity material that stitches together a series of sexual acts with no greater context. Fan Base, conversely, is nothing like the endless supply of gay porn found on store shelves. Balanced group sex scenes, long cumshots, and an urban flair distinguish Gallant’s masterpiece from the many alternatives on the market.
-Tom J
.
(Pulpo Presents)
Director: Andres Tobogo
Starring: Loreno Sanchez, Alektra Blue, Mikayla, Tony Desergio, Van Damage
You got to love a porn flick that starts with a Latin chick perking up her nipples with the barrel of a revolver, shortly followed by a notebook illustration of the “Colombian Necktie.” No the “Colombian Necktie” is not when you splooge over a Colombian girls chest, it’s when your neck is sliced open and your tongue pulled through until your lungs fill with blood.
This is a bit of a foreshadowing.
There is a lot of plot to this gangsta movie, so brace yourself for the sum up. Capo is a North Mexican gangsta. He has a hot girlfriend, Carla (Lorena Sanchez). He uses her to move ahead in this underworld of guns, cocaine, and money-stuffed briefcases, by having her fuck everybody but him. Hmm…
Carla might as well be Vida Guerra. Everything any man could want in a latin beauty: fat ass, great caramel tits, and a firey attitude that dangles the potential she may pop a cap in you after the ride. At least that’s what I look for in a Latin beauty.
Actually there isn’t a fuck in the film that doesn’t entertain the possibility they may not see life after it. I dig a porn that has these shady characters, sexy cholas, and Tony Montana mounds of yayo. Not far from my own life, minus the whole being shot stuff.
Mikayla is the next beauty to enter the film with blows. She is about to inhale about a gram of blow off of the shaft of rival gangsta Bobby as she begins to blow him. Quite an inspiring debut. He is soon shot in the eye.
Towards the end of the film, we all fully turn on Capo (who shockingly never gets laid). Including Carla after some necessary girl-on-girl convincing by star Alektra Blue (whose character had a gun to Carla’s head in the previous scene). What I’ve found is that if you hang out with these people, you’ll probably get fucked, killed, or both. As long as Lorena Sanchez is there, and she’s naked, we’re okay with that.
-Dirty Dave
(Bad Seed)
Directed by: Jax
Starring: Sydnee Capri, Tia Sweets, Manage A Roz, Kapri Styles, Cherokee, Ace, Tyler Knight, Rock, Domineko and Lee Bang
In this DVD what we have is supposedly a group of hood rats liberated from the harsh streets of Compton to live with large playas in Beverly Hills. This social relocation is to bring wild cats into the bedroom of the sedate rich. Does it come across? Well, the truth of the matter is that we will never know all of the answers because the DVD doesn’t’ care to waste time with the social aspects of the different neighborhoods. After showing you a quick intro of the girls in different dress, and the ‘hoods from which they call and are going, the DVD gets straight to the fucking. No messing around with messy plots and needless dialogue.
Sydney Capri walks into the room and goes down on her man, as simple as that And she does so with such hungry skill. She’s girl in top in moments, fucking away then putting the girlfriend in effect, popping that dick right back into her mouth. Next comes some pounding, ass jiggling doggie style that is as hot as ever. Soon comes the invasion of that tight ass as she takes it down the Hershey Highway. A lot of good fucking that ends with a chest pop, if you like those kinds of endings. The way Sydney Capri laps up what there, one only wonders why it wasn’t a mouth pop.
Tia Sweets, looking like a high schooler is next, with the obligatory Hood to Hills introduction, followed by her walking down a hall, entering the lavish bedroom of her man and having him go down on her after a brief session of body worship. In moments, she is inhaling cock like a slow seductress, mouth loving the shaft. Then the doggie style sex begins and she rides her cowboy like a champ, waving that big booty like a flag and talking much shit. A plus for some. There is a lot of body banging going on, including some ass loving as her man zips up that shitter to do a little damage. Tia Sweets is a bona fide cock mechanic as she receives an ass pop at the end of the scene. Pretty hot.
The cute Menage A Roz goes through a similar relocation transformation, turning from hoochie mama to sexy little rich girl. She begins by giving her man some slow, loving head before turning around and taking it doggie style. She has sex on film like a wife and her face betrays her enjoyment of the act. She is a joy to watch fuck, all the way to the ass pop at the very end. She does a raunchy ass shake afterwards that you’d like to see more of.
Next up, Kapri Styles who comes home to her Beverly Hills digs, holds a conversation for all of two minutes, then gulps cock. God, you got to love it when a porn film does not take itself too seriously. Kapri is a good cock sucker, giving great head to start off her scene, then getting undressed (slower than her overanxious man, which is somewhat comical) and shortly afterwards the loud, animal fucking begins. Some good woman loving is had as she is contorted like a pretzel while being filled with meat. One would think with all of her shouting and screaming, even before the anal scenes, that she was being mauled to death by some bear or something. This is one wrestling match that ends with a load on that big, jello ass.
The first and last thing that you can say about Cherokee is that this woman has a great deal of junk in her motherfucking trunk. More like carrying bricks and cinderblocks. Her thighs are as big as tree trunks holdng up an ass so large and round it’s hard to see the woman on the other side of it. She knows what her major asset (no pun intended) is also, as she shows it off at every turn. The jiggle factor is very high in this last scene, beginning with some serious ass worship followed by the blowjob, the sex and the anal trip, all intensified by her massive ass cheeks either clapping together or leaving for differing parts of the neighborhood to come back later. Her scene also ends with an ass pop to which she shakes about at the end.
Hot and full of sex, transplanting women from the Hood to the Hills is a good thing. There is also a bonus scene that is equally rough and tumble without the added extra baggage of going from the Hood. Middle of the road fare and yet fun to watch. If you like seeing Black girls doing nasty things, well then this is for you.
-Gregori K
A modernized contract star program could yield wider profit margins. With catalogues of titles growing rapidly and the unavoidable cost of talent perform in them, a broader portfolio of contract talent could provide a clear path to profit. By devising a “second-tier” contract program, studios could trade the value of predictable income for cash, securing discounts in the freelance market and reducing compensation expenditures.
The contract star business model started as with brand in mind. Pioneered by Vivid, contract stars offered a premium service. The practice proliferated, and contract stars now bolster the brands of most major content providers. The focus of contract star programs has been top line revenues, attracting consumer spend while blocking the competition (through exclusivity agreements).
While the top line revenue benefits of contract stars are evident, the more immediate advantage remains unacknowledged. With a few changes, the contract star business model could be applied more broadly to reduce operating costs.
The rate of adult film production has increased aggressively from 1998 through 2006 (and astronomically since 1988), though porn’s approach to talent management has not changed, showing decades of tradition that remain impervious to progress. A freelance labor pool is engaged as needed to address the demand for talent. “As needed” has quietly become continual. Only 8,000 films were brought to market in 1998, according to AVN estimates, compared to 13,500 in 2006, and a mere 1,250 titles hit the shelves in 1988. Film releases have grown at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 14.13% since 1988, a rate that will be exacerbated in the future as the industry’s approach to market strategy can be summarized with the two words, “more titles”.
| Year |
# of Titles |
CAGR (since 1988) |
| 2006 | 13,500 | 14.13% |
| 2005 | 11,000 | 13.65% |
| 1998 | 8,000 | 20.40% |
| 1988 | 1,250 | - |
Source: Adult Video News
Growth appears to have peaked in the 1990s, as titles per year grew at a CAGR of 20.4% from 1988 to 1998, most of which can be attributed to the increasing legitimacy of the adult entertainment business as supported by the proliferation of the internet. The market simply addressed pent up demand for adult content. Growth slowed to a 4.65% CAGR from 1998 to 2005, as the market showed signs of maturity. But, any signs of a slowdown in production no longer seem to apply, with new films reaching shelves growing by 22.73% from 2005 to 2006.
What does this increase in production mean for the studios? They should prepare to spend more, particularly on freelancers. The freelancer-dependent business model, though, was designed to absorb the 1,250 films produced in 1988 and maybe the 8,000 titles released in 1998. The number of titles produced in 2006 was nearly 70% higher than in 1998, but the industry’s approach to sourcing and compensating talent has not change.The primary advantage to using the freelance market as a source of labor (for the companies) was to mitigate risk. Why carry an employee on the books if she will be under-utilized? Instead, you pay a premium to have talent on demand and expect that the year’s total payments to that freelancer will cost les than paying a year’s salary at market rates. Pay-as-you-go in porn lowered the likelihood of overpaying talent.A reasonable stance 10 or 20 years ago, this thinking does not apply to the current market for adult film talent. The likelihood of under-utilization is low, especially in light of the most recent year-on-year production growth of 22.73% and the increasing CAGR relative to 1998. The potential scarcity of talent in the coming years could erode company earnings, especially given the declining rate of revenue per title since 1998. 
| 1998 |
2005 |
2006 |
|
| # of Titles | 8,000 | 11,000 | 13,500 |
| Industry Revenues (US$ millions) | 9,800 | 11,000 | 12,900 |
| Revenue per Title (US$ 000s) |
1,225 |
1,000 |
956 |
Source: Adult Video News
Production companies are making more film with declining returns. Meanwhile, the freelancer rate per scene is remaining steady and could increase with the demand for talent implied by a proliferation of titles. Make more movies; hire more talent. Costs go up, but the rate of return on the investment in each film (which includes compensating talent) declines. Without a labor pool that increases at least as quickly as the rate of new title releases, the cost per scene is bound to increase. Using 2006 as a benchmark, the industry had to receive a net 22.73% increase in talent in order to keep demand for performers from pushing rates higher.
When it paid to hire freelancers
In the freelance labor market, an increase in the supply of work translates directly to aggregate talent expenditure. Each new title has a requisite talent expenditure. The answer lies in adapting the contract star model to contemporary workforce dynamics. Contract stars are expensive, but the model can be modified.
According to Steven Hirsch, Co-CEO of Vivid Entertainment, their contract stars are obligated to perform in 6 – 8 films per year. Though salaries vary, the average cost of one contract star per film is approximately $8,000, still considerably higher than the $1,000 - $1,500 paid per scene on the freelance market. But, the contract star’s average rate per film also covers the fact that she may have more than one scene in a film, works through a longer production cycle (especially in plot-heavy productions) and fulfills other promotional obligations.
Hirsch comments by e-mail that “Freelance talent has been less expensive, but we will always want to have the best talent available under contract.” To a certain extent, this makes perfect sense. You want the best of the best in the contract portfolio, granting you exclusive access, blocking out the competition and bolstering the value of your brand. In fact, it correctly counters the traditional porn strategy of “more product, more titles” by creating scarcity and consequently increasing the value of certain starlets whose films are likely to attract consumers. One cannot argue that the investment that Hirsch has continued to make in Vivid’s contract star program has delivered results; the success is beyond dispute. Even with a cost per scene substantially higher than the freelance market, contract stars deliver ancillary brand and marketing support in which they certainly justify the cost to the studios. The problem, of course, is with the vast majority of films created every year that require the use of freelance talent. Does moving not just the marginal but the “reasonable strong” talent into the contract market save the studios any money?
But, will freelance talent remain less expensive in the long run? While it is unlikely that freelance rates will reach the effective $8,000 per film that characterizes the contract star portfolio, even a slight universal rate increase could devastate margins.Engaging “B-list” talent through long-term contracts (which do not have to be exclusive) could lead to discount rates in trade for consistent work. Predictability has value to the freelancer, sometimes almost as much as cash. As with any strategic problem facing the porn industry, though, expect hesitation from everybody. An unwillingness to abandon time-tested operating models is the natural result of responding to risk. “What if I do it and nobody else does? Will I lose access to talent?” Fortunately, the only salient risk is that nobody will agree to a contract that trades consistency for discount, in which nothing is lost relative to the status quo. The potential for gain, though, is undeniably substantial. Even a rate discount of 10% across the majority of titles produced would add points to operating margins.
- Tom J
Author: Chris Nieratko
Dirty Dave had been leaning on me for a month to read Skinema, but I always had something else in my stack. I put it off and put it off and finally called him, “What was that book again?”
“Skinema, asshole,” he replied, probably irritated that (a) I called him during work, (b) didn’t write it down as I said I had and (c) called him when I knew he was at work, during the busiest part of the day. I had to do it, though. I was heading to see my in-laws for the weekend, which meant five hours round trip on a bus, a weekend away from Manhattan and, of course, a weekend with my in-laws.
Just outside the Lincoln Tunnel, I pulled Skinema out of my bag. I continued to read it in the car as we left the bus station. I read it at the emergency room while smoking a cigar as my wife’s sister was being treated (they don’t let you smoke inside). And I read it straight through until I was finished.
It was fucking fantastic.
Chris Nieratko packed seven years of porn film reviews into this book. Having written hundreds of porn reviews, I was reluctant to read what I figured would be a piece of shit. I can barely get Dirty Dave to review two films, and he expected me to read a whole book of them? Seriously.
“It’s not like that,” Dirty Dave assured me. “He barely talks about the movies. He just rants about himself.” That was an understatement. In some reviews, Nieratko barely addresses the movie; in others, he ignores it completely. For Russian Bra Busters, the author writes about getting sloppy drunk on a flight to Seattle – and getting some random Japanese guy sloppy drunk – and mentions not a word about the film.
Instead of reviewing porn, Nieratko talks about his life. He bitches about his girlfriend’s many suicide attempts and scanning the obituaries to see if a one night stand survived lots of alcohol, vomiting, passing out and cracking her head in the bathtub – not to mention the questions that her boyfriend was bound to ask.
Occasionally, the author bothers to take a look at the film mentioned in the title’s review, and he always chooses well. Among the few movies that actually get almost half the review was one by AET’s own Joe Gallant. Nieratko just pulled one of Gallant’s movies from a friend without thinking about it, and he was thrilled with the find. Not content to rave about the film, Nieratko insists that the reader check out anything by Joe’s company, Black Mirror.
I hope Nieratko has seen Gallant’s recent work, including Anal NYC, AVE. X (VCA) and most recently Skin Trade (Adam & Eve/Bad Seed). It’s his best yet.
Skinema is porn review done properly. If I had had the balls to take Nieratko’s approach a year ago, I wouldn’t have bothered to hire film reviewers for AET. I would have just ranted for 500 words about that psycho I fucked in Georgia who did my laundry and whose boyfriend shared my name. Or, I could have jotted some notes about the girl in college who cried because doggy style was “so dirty”. Christ …
Just read Skinema. You’ll see why.
-Tom J
The accessibility of hardcore pornography, though certainly a wonderful example of our free and democratic society, might make one long for the more subtle approach to sexual fantasy. While eroticism lacks the “in your face”, straight-forward carnal ass-smacking goodness of typical adult entertainment, it can indeed be just as satisfying in the eyes and minds of those who can appreciate its more artful underpinnings.
The Erotic Readers and Writers Association (ERWA) is just the right venue for those seeking a variety of erotic media. The ERWA, established in 1996, “is an international community of women and men interested in the provocative world of erotica and sexuality,” as their website claims. It is indeed one stop shopping for all your erotica needs.
The website features a “Books for Sensual Readers” section that lists various titles and publishers of erotic fiction. This section includes some tantalizing subheadings including Erotic Anthologies, Hot Chick Lit, Hard Guy Lit, Porn Chic, and Sensual Romance. Also available is a page for erotic art and nude photography. The amount of links and book info can be a bit dizzying, but ERWA does a great job of giving briefs of the literature it features as well as links to Amazon.com for purchases. An interesting quote from Apple Computers founder Steve Jobs appears here: “My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she’s reading.”
“Erotica Galleries” focuses on short fiction which is updated monthly, written by the ERWA members themselves. “If smart, sexy erotica is your thing,” says the teaser, “then you’re in the right place.” This month’s theme is “Politically Erect” featuring some rather interesting, well let’s just say, political commentary.
For those who need a little background noise to set the sexy mood, check out ERWA’s Erotic Music section. This is indeed a treat. Whether its smooth jazz or hot rock that you’re into, ERWA has a recommendation for you. Artists from Jorge Strunz and Ardeshir Farah are listed alongside George Benson and Nina Simmone in the jazz category. Among those listed in other categories are Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Ani DiFranco, Aerosmith, Enya, and oddly enough, classical composer Mussorgsky for his “Night on Bald Mountain” symphony.
Other notable and useful items ERWA offers are an “Author Resources” page where you can fid advice columns from published erotica authors. EWRA also displays a “Website of the Month”, which this month is Tassels and Tales, a website devoted to female-centric erotica. And finally, what erotic website would be complete without a plethora of info on the latest adult movies and toys? EWRA’s “Sex Toy Playground” has something for beginners and fetish-vets alike.
So why not, instead of wasting your precious spank time over at the newest Barely Legal website where you’re likely to be bombarded with spam and pop-ups anyway, take a few minutes, or a few hours, to delve into the wonderful world of erotica. EWRA has everything you need to bring the sexy back. Not that it ever really went away.
-D’Angelo
(Adam & Eve)
Director: Stoney O’Neil
Starring: T.J. Hart, Devon Lee, Veronica Rayne, Kayla Synz, Kasey
Remember back when you were in high school? Chances are there were only three things constant in your life. First, an uncontrollable acne problem that rendered you dateless as a member of the chess team. Second, your mom’s radar for your porn stash. And finally, that throbbing, aching, pounding, hard as a physics test boner you had for that one teacher you wish you could throw down on top of her desk bang ‘til the recess bell.Well, the good folks at Adam & Eve have just what you’re looking for to bring back that old nostalgia. Although hopefully by now you’ve gotten rid of the acne and have moved out.From director Stony O’Neil comes T.I.L.F.: Teachers I’d Like to Fuck. And as the ingenius title implies, this DVD’s packed with enough hardcore teacher-to-student action to make Mary Kay Letourneau blush.
Starting off is Kayla Synz in “Discipline”. She’s decked out in thick rimmed glasses, and red and black plaid dress, and a pearl necklace. No, a real pearl necklace. After wondering into the boy’s locker room she sniffs a jock strap laying on the bench and gets horny for an 18 year-old cock. When she finds one, she can’t get on top of it fast enough. Kayla’s demanding voice alone is enough to make you hard, instructing the young man to fuck her like a woman, not like a girl. Before you know it, Kayla gets a new set of pearls.
“Detention”, featuring T.J. Hart, makes you long for the good ol’ days of in-school suspension. After busting out of her pokadot blouse, she looses her glasses and drops to her knees to show the student what a bad boy he’s been. Mrs T.J. gets bent over the desk, and then rides the student body in her teachers chair. Finally, back to her knees she goes and jacks him off.In “Punishment”, Veronica Rayne is the kind of teacher that makes bitchy look so hot. She begins by cracking the yard stick across the guys ass. The student then uses his own yard stick on Veronica’s ass as they screw on top of the desk. The student then shoots enough gizz to write one hundred times “I will not cum on the teacher’s face.”
The very lovely Devon Lee performs in “Assistance” where the extra credit is doled out quite liberally. When the student’s done helping her move a heavy object, Lee breaks out her own pair of heavy objects which sets up a nice titty fuck money shot. Completing the ciriculum is Kasey in “Probation”, where she shows a member of the football team what happpens when you practice while academically ineligible. T.I.L.F. is 110 minutes of comprehensive sex education that satisfies from homeroom all the way through last period. There wasn’t even this much hot action on the wreslting team! So put on Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” and let the faculty of Adam & Eve High show you an after school special you’ll never forget.
-D’Angelo
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